Several years ago I worked through Stuart Scott’s book, The Exemplary Husband, with a few folks from my church. We were moving along pretty well until we arrived at the chapter on communication. Yikes…I’ve got a long way to go before I reach mediocre, much less exemplary, regarding how well I communicate with my wife.
Now, I know that no one who reads this blog has any difficulties communicating (wink, wink), but just in case you know a person who knows a person who struggles in this area, I thought I would share a few of Scott’s key ideas.
Six Prerequisites to Good Communication
1.) A husband must want to please God more than anything else. (2 Cor. 5:9)
2.) A husband must be humble. (Eph. 4:1-3)
3.) A husband must be aware that he is accountable to God for everything he communicates (Matt. 12:36)
4.) A husband must know how to listen. (Proverbs 18:13) Listening well means…
- Concentrating on and carefully considering what the other person is saying.
- Not interrupting
- Not formulating what you are going to say while the other person is talking. (guilty)
- Not talking too much, but allowing breaks in the conversation so that another person can have time to process information, formulate what they want to say and then say it to you.
- When you are in an important conversation, always ask for clarification with comments like, “Could you say that again?” or “Could you explain a little more?” or “Is this what you are saying…?”
- Not talking when someone else is speaking.
5.) A husband must know that communication involves more than just words. He must be very careful about…
- The volume of his voice
- The tone of his voice
- Facial expressions
- Hand gestures
- Rolling the eyes
- Body posture
6.) A husband must be willing to put forth the effort and spend the time that it takes to communicate. (Rom. 12:10-12)
That ought to give us husbands something to work on for a while.